You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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