I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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