the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
