I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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