Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
