You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
