they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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