Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
