bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
