i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
