ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
