Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
