YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
