i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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