Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
