Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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