Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
