Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
