Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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