dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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