Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
