lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How's work?
Spinning.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
