If i come over, it means nothing
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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