I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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