I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
