But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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