we're blogging at a bar
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
