Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Help. Why am I so naked?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
