Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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