I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
