He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Enjoy the penises
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
