i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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