bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
