She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
