are you still at the devil's house?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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