Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize