apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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