'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize