so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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