Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
