there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
