Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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