Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
