Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
