what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
