When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
