even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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