he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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