the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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