just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dicks are not precious.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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