found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
