I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nutella sex= disaster
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
