Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize