I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
