if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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