Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
