I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
