pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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