I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
