She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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