dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
