just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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