my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
