I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
