guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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